I am going to try to not get in trouble with this … but with the MLS All-Star Game this evening I have decided to look at MLS Announcer All Stars. This is not a comprehensive list as it has a deep bias for anyone who I have actually watched/listened to more than a couple of times. AND --- I am trying to not offend anyone here so I am going to be less critical than I am when I am sitting on my couch screaming at these idiots for getting things wrong.
Sometimes you can see your life play out even at a young age. For me, it was clear that I was going to be a Major League Baseball Player for the San Francisco Giants and then move on to a successful career as their broadcaster. Neither of those things has happened yet, but I am only 56 years old so I am not giving up (and who would believe the bad luck of having to follow Kuiper and Krukow???). I’m not saying I could have hit as many major league home runs as Duane Kuiper – but who knows? Even Gaylord Perry hit one I think.
PLAY BY PLAY GUYS – for some reason the networks all believe that they need to bring in a British accent to be authoritative play by play guys. I don’t subscribe to that but if you have to have a Brit – make it Adrian Healy (or Ian Darke … or any other Brit that I am forgetting) but Adrian Healy is very, very good.
For the American guys (or guys who sound like Americans) – I have become partial to Jim Kozimor – being from the Bay Area I see other sports that he does and I have grown to really like him on the screen. Of course it is ridiculous when the local Earthquake games are done with the announcers in a studio rather than at the road game … but that aside – Kozimor is great. I like Steve Cangialosi’s voice and style with New York Red Bulls – but my best American play-by-play is Glenn Davis. Glenn is in Houston but had done national games and when he is doing the game you get a very clear account of what is going on and some insight into the game.
COLOR COMMENTATORS – I have to say first and foremost that my two favorites have to be excluded from consideration. I have known Alejandro Moreno since Chris first came up with the Earthquakes and have been able to spend time with him over the years. It is not a surprise to me that he is really good as a commentator --- it is probably more of a surprise that he does it without flopping in front of the defenders (sorry Alejandro … I hope you laughed at that). The other exclusion has to be Taylor Twellman --- not because we are friends – I have only met Taylor once (and by the way he is a great guy) --- but when Chris first got drafted I told Chris that he could be successful in the mode of Taylor Twellman … which kind of outs me as a huge Taylor Twellman fan. Fandom aside --- Taylor does a great job and is not afraid of voicing his opinion (no matter how incorrect it might be from time to time). I also have to include Kasey Keller who is really, really good (somehow goalkeepers see the game better and if you happen to get one that isn’t flat out crazy – they are good as commentators NOTE – Kasey is probably the only goalkeeper who doesn’t appear to be flat out crazy). Brian Dunseth is fantastic and Kyle Martino may be the best of the best as commentators (until he let that ham Stu Holden pinch hit for him)…. Some of us see Kyle Martino now as Wally Pipp and Stu Holden as Lou Gehrig (google it and you might agree – but at least you will learn a little baseball history). Finally – if I didn’t mention Eddie Robinson he would probably jump on top of me and elbow me in the back (like he used to do to guys like Taylor Twellman). I’m semi-kidding – I mean I am scared of Eddie and he did play like that --- but he is really good on the Houston games. Eddie is also the nicest guy in the universe off of the field (as long as you remember to compliment his broadcasting and try not to step in front of him for head balls or dinner lines).