Warriors or Quakes - and Why Being a Father Makes That an Easy Choice

The Wondo household (at least the male contingent) has always been (a) interested in all sports all the time and (b) ardent supporters of the local teams.  With that thought … I offer the current dilemma of the Warriors playing tomorrow night in a game where we hope they win their first NBA Championship in 40 years – versus the Earthquakes Open Cup Game.  For me, there is no dilemma.  I saw the Warriors beat the Bullets in a clean sweep when I was in grade school.  In fact, I saw their coach get in a fight on the court during one of the games … so I’ve seen it all.  But I have not seen the Earthquakes play Sacramento in the Open Cup in my entire life – so I will be in my usual seat watching my favorite team. 

     Of course, finding someone around the Wondo household who will go with me to the Earthquakes game has become about as difficult as winning a header against Clarence Goodson.  It looks like I am flying solo but hopefully will hook up with The Best Thing to Ever Happen to Chris and The Little Diva and we can sit together.

     It makes me think about being a dad (it is Father’s Day coming up for anyone who hasn’t rushed out and purchased a bbq utensil for their dad yet).  Nobody ever really told you the truth about being a dad … for some reason there is this perpetual cycle of dads who spread this one-sided story that being a dad is just absolutely rainbows and butterflies.  I think it would be unfair for me to say that I have not seen my share of rainbows and butterflies – from each of my three sons and two step-daughters.  But I have given up a piece of my sports heritage in the process.

     One time, a few years ago I was at a Quakes game where Chris ended up scoring a hat-trick against Chivas USA.  It was great – except … the Giants were playing a playoff game that same night and I spent the night shifting between the Quakes game and the Giants playoff game.  Only to jump up and down when I checked and the Giants won and those sitting next to me said:  “Dude – that was on the scoreboard five minutes ago”.  I just said:  “Oh, thanks, I guess I was too wrapped up in this soccer game.”

     Last year, Chris looked at me in pre-game warmups to give him a sign on how the Giants were doing --- unfortunately I gave him a thumbs down (because we just popped up with two outs and runners in scoring position in the 8^th inning).  He took that to mean that we lost – the G-men ended up winning.  I failed as the messenger. 

     Fortunately – with the Giants and A’s successes … and now the Dubs successes … there have been many times that I have been at a Quakes game and been somewhat distracted by post-season games for our other teams. 

     My point to all of this babble?  … no point really – except that I would love to watch the Dubs tomorrow night … but nowhere near as much as I will love watching the Quakes tomorrow night.  It’s great when it looks like fatherly-sacrifice … but it is nothing even remotely like sacrifice.  And last Father’s Day??? Oh … I was sacrificing in Natal, Brazil with my two oldest sons ready to watch the USA play Ghana the next night … so that perpetual cycle of dads who spread this story about being a dad is absolutely rainbows and butterflies – I’m now one of them. (And – I need to mention my youngest son Matt because he always tells me that (a) he never reads what I write and (b) I never mention him).  And being his dad has also been rainbows and butterflies.  

100 Goals ... Wow

     Chris Wondolowski scored his 100^th goal in Major League Soccer yesterday and it made his father tremendously proud.  The thing about a Penalty Kick, when your son is taking the Penalty Kick, is that there is a short process … but a long enough process to make a dad completely nervous and crazy.  When Jordan Stewart earned the penalty, I promised myself that I would not jump out of my seat and thrust both arms into the air if Chris scored (basically I promised myself that I would not make a fool of myself).  That promise went into the category labeled unfulfilled unfortunately (sorry people who have to sit next to me).    

     I wish we won the game, but it ended up being about the most enjoyable evening after a home game tie that I have ever had.  Mrs. Wondo got a cake and Chris brought A Pequena Chefona and the Best Thing to Ever Happen to Him (his wife Lindsey) – along with his mother in law and David Bingham for a low-key celebration.  Even though it was low-key it was pretty fun for this blog writer. 

     In sports, numbers of specific outcomes become milestones for careers.  In baseball, 500 home runs or 3000 hits become significant milestones.  In football, 100 touchdowns or 10,000 yards gained become milestones.  In Major League Soccer, at least for goal production, 100 goals is a significant milestone.  As a father who also happens to be a lifelong soccer fan, to see my son’s name in the record books next to Edson Buddle, Taylor Twellman, and Dwayne DeRosario is honestly something that is hard for me to comprehend.  To see him do this for the team that I used to drive him and his brothers to watch when they were young – is beyond comprehension for me. 

     So yesterday I watched my oldest son reach a professional sports milestone that ended up being much more emotional for me than I would have ever imagined.  Maybe spending a few years traveling the country to watch him sit on the bench, warm up, and usually not go into the game ended up making his eventual success a sweeter accomplishment than it otherwise should have been to me.  After all, I was the guy who told Chris when he made the Earthquakes roster his rookie season that he could be Taylor Twellman (it is amazing how skewed a man’s opinion can get when the subject is the capability of his offspring).  To see him reach this milestone with Dominic Kinnear as his coach was really special ... to have Mark Watson in attendance on the opposite bench is bittersweet - but great.  I imagine Frank Yallop might have been watching ... and I hope those three coaches took as much pride as I did in the moment ... they did the navigation, I only did the spectating.  

     The 100 goal milestone for me, and I suspect for Chris, really is a measurement of his longevity in the league.  That is relevant because the most important thing to any professional athlete is to be respected by his teammates and trusted by his coaches.  When you get to hang around a league for enough years to score 100 goals, I believe that is an indicator of a player’s success in achieving that most important thing.  The fact that 96 of those goals have been scored for the Earthquakes is hopefully an indicator that he has earned the respect of his teammates, the trust of his coaches, the endorsement of the team’s management, and the support of the fan base who sacrifice their time and money to support the team.  No man could ask for more than that – as a player or as a father.

     I don’t know what is next, but I will be there watching the future unfold.  There is the next goal that ties him with the best pure forward ever to play in MLS (Taylor Twellman).  Or, coincidentally his 100^th goal with the Earthquakes that would tie him with his former teammate, mentor, and friend Dwayne DeRosario.  

    I will finish with some inside family information.  Lindsey keeps Chris down to earth and I think Chris is a pretty humble guy to begin with … together they are a delightfully humble couple.  But I believe that skips a generation.  A Pequena Chefona has seemed to grow quite comfortable with the spotlight (my wife and I simply call her Diva now).  If you ever see The Diva on television or at the stadium with Chris holding her … just know that 50% of that is because she is madly in love with her daddy and 50% of that is because she is madly in love with the spotlight. I am hoping that The Diva's enjoyment of the spotlight will be good positive motivation for continued success.  

99 Goals - Purely from a Father's Perspective

From a father’s standpoint, 99 goals in a professional soccer career creates three issues in your mind that are really hard to get your head around.  First, the fact that your son has played soccer for a living long enough to score that many goals.  That was my dream for me, and just about any boy’s dream for himself, and now a dream come true for Chris.  Truly a blessed career.  Second is the fact that the 100 goal milestone is now 1 minute, 1 game, 1000 minutes, 20 games, or even a season away.  In fact, it could never happen – this same guy who is now a Top Ten MLS Goal Scorer of All Time – netted only 2 in his first four seasons that included 8 starts and more than 600 minutes of playing time. 

     But, as the best pure-forward that every played in Major League Soccer (Taylor Twellman) says from time-to-time … ‘right place, right time’.  It would appear that there actually is something to ‘being in the right place at the right time’ and doing it 99 times is probably more than a collection of lucky moments. 

     I should point out that 99 goals do not happen by one person being in the right place at the right time … you need a coaching staff and 27 other guys on the team to make that particular place and time a goal-scoring opportunity.

     Following my son for 11 seasons has been a magical experience.  When I think about the fact that he started by signing a contract that paid him less than $1000 per month, there is something to be said for following your passion and pursuing your dream.

     This has surpassed the wildest father’s dream that could have ever been dreamt.  I saw two of my sons playing together with the Houston Dynamo (of course that was early Sunday mornings in Reserve Games … but pretty cool nonetheless).  I have been able to see him play in person in just about every MLS City over the past 11 years.  I went from (pre-soccer) not liking Houston to absolutely loving the city and the people (that alone was something that I would have never predicted).  My favorite moment is a night in Charleston when a goal in stoppage time tied the game for the Houston Dynamo against the Charleston Battery in an Open Cup Game.  That goal was scored by my son Stephen and his brother Chris was the first to jump on top of him in celebration.  That’s a pretty cool dad experience. 

     When Chris was drafted by the Earthquakes ... he found out when he was walking on campus at college in between classes.  He found out from a long-time friend who had also been drafted by the Earthquakes.  He drove home from college, began to try-out, ended up getting a roster spot, and started his career.  Only to have his world change significantly when in December after his first season in San Jose he was told that he could move to Houston if he wanted to – and try to gain a roster spot the next season in Houston.  So he did … but … without the best thing that ever happened to him – his future wife Lindsey stayed in California to get additional education and teaching credentials.

     Fortunately for Chris, Lindsey eventually followed him to Houston and they got married.  They bought a nice home near Houston and were establishing a life together.  Chris’ brother Stephen was signed by the Houston Dynamo and the boys were able to have what is probably a brothers’ dream of playing professionally together.  And then … Chris was traded to San Jose.  They had the house in Houston – Lindsey had her career there – and now it was back to California. 

     NOBODY on planet earth would have ever written the next chapter in the young Wondo Family’s lives.  Chris thrived – Lindsey moved back to California – and eventually they were able to settle into their own home in the East Bay and create Emersyn.  (Add to that – Stephen now coaches for the San Jose Earthquakes Academy … and things have worked out pretty well). 

     So … this dad that used to fly to Houston to watch Chris play in Sunday Morning Reserve Games – now gets to sit at the most beautiful soccer stadium I have ever seen – with my granddaughter on my lap – and watch Chris score his 99^th goal right in front of us. 

     Obviously I hope he gets to 100 soon … but what a fool I would be to not simply relish 99 goals and what those have meant in the twists and turns in his life.  And how great it has been to have a pretty good seat to all of it. 

     

Urging North Korea to Use their Cyber-capabilities for Good-Not Evil

     With professional soccer in the United States on a break – we can turn to pressing world events:

     The United States says that North Korea hacked Sony Pictures in order to prevent “The Interview” from being released and viewed.  North Korea says that they are not responsible.  While at some levels this resembles most family discussions when trying to pin blame on just which child might have had a hand in relocating the goldfish from the aquarium to the bathtub – I choose to look at this wonderful power that North Korea has developed and wonder what would happen if it was used for good and not evil. I urge North Korea to look beyond the usual International Hot Buttons like Hollywood Comedies.

     I, therefore, with tongue firmly in cheek – offer these five targets to the North Korean Cyber-Attack-Apparatus.  If the North Koreans take my advice – they will actually be furthering the cause for world harmony by hacking and then causing these targets to pull their performances from the public.

     OPRAH:  - I don’t get Oprah and I confess that I never will.  However I suspect that at some point in the future she may be planning to turn all of her O-Zombie followers into a disastrous cult determined to give free cars away to every female on planet earth.  I live in Danville where the downtown becomes as dangerous as a war zone after school pick up when all of the moms in town drive their huge Escalades and talk on the phone at the same time while picking off pedestrian after pedestrian without noticing.  I don’t wish that on all of us and I would like North Korea to hack Oprah’s production company in order to shield us from a world of danger.

     JUSTIN BIEBER: - Enough said.

     THE OAKLAND RAIDERS: - Please hack the Oakland Raiders and threaten them until the front office pulls the team from production and we don’t have to sit through any more dismal games.  I know this is stretching it – but if they could also get Reggie McKenzie to become the General Manager for the Broncos, Chargers, and Chiefs … all at the same time … that would be great as well.

     THE WATER PEOPLE: - These are all the professionals whose job it is to be interviewed on the news immediately after a rainstorm to tell us that the drought is not over and the snow is too dry.  I’m not saying the drought is over – but I am saying that I have not seen the sun for 73 days and I have never enjoyed hearing that the snow is too dry when it somehow is always able to soak through to my socks.

     THE GROCERY BAG POLICE: - Now we have to take our own bags to the grocery store or risk being summarily executed while standing in the Express Line.  I don’t call that an advanced society – I get that plastic bags at grocery stores are posing an existential risk to our very being – but they sure are convenient.  Going to Safeway is tough enough with the fact that by the time you get back to your car you’ve signed 27 voter’s petitions and given money away to at least 3 charities (while avoiding eye contact with 11 other solicitors)… now we have to do all of that while saving the planet with our own reusable bags.  Grocery shopping has become difficult. 

What I Have Learned ... Being a Father of a Professional Athlete

What I Have Learned From:

Being a Father of a Professional Athlete

     One thing about getting old that you only learn by getting old … is that the advice you have to offer from years of experience as a man, husband, father, divorced husband, step-father, and all other roles along that long journey … has no interested audience.  Trust me – I am not complaining … it’s not like I have any wisdom at all … but it is a dynamic of our current lifestyle.

     Being blessed with three sons and two step-daughters I have come to realize quite a bit.  Chalk it up to the incredible amount of teaching and advice that is only a click away … or maybe this generation is not any different from previous generations.  I adore our five children and am so incredibly proud of them, but, I was surprised to learn that they knew everything about being an adult before actually becoming an adult --- everything about being married before actually being married --- everything about being a parent before actually being a parent ---- and fortunately for Joanne and me --- they have always been incredibly unselfish in their willingness to share their wisdom with us.

     With that in mind, I am going to seize on the opportunity to possibly write about something that even my children are not yet experts in:  Lessons from being a parent of a professional athlete.

-          Television broadcasters are amazingly bi-polar … they are either far too effusive in their praise or far too critical in their judgment.  But you learn that is what they get paid to do and you appreciate the fact that you can watch your son play soccer on television instead of freezing your ass off in the stands at some rainy and muddy stadium/field/patch of weeds.  I also have a ‘system’ – I listen and agree to the effusive-praise broadcasters and mumble that the critical broadcasters are clearly idiots. 

-          Being a sports fan --- I criticize players from time to time (for crying out loud I am a die-hard Oakland Raiders fan … criticism in now in my DNA).  When I sit at a stadium and fans start ripping on my son – I have learned to just smile and be glad that he is a topic of conversation.  My wife however … has not quite learned that skill … I don’t think she ever will.  (Wait until he starts coaching – she will not be able to go to the games with me at that point).  If you ever sat at Earthquake games and a lady in front of you shot you a look that made you quiver --- that was my wife and you were talking sh@t about Chris … sorry … that was me sitting next to her and I was cool with it.

-          Watching your son play – either in person or on television is so intense that I cannot even imagine how it could be done before big screen HD.  Trust me – in soccer on television – picking each player out from a wide-angle shot of the field becomes a learned skill.

-          Watching your son play – either in person or on television is so intense that you end up with only a very small circle of friends who are even allowed to sit in the room and watch with you.  And those friends do not include people who ask a lot of questions. 

-          Your son/daughter will have good games and not so good games … no athlete has ever had only good games.  The age old advice is to not get too high on the good and not get too low on the bad … but my advice is == celebrate the good like freaking crazy and don’t get too low on the bad.

-          I stopped offering critical advice to my son many, many years ago.  I now tell him how proud I am of him after every single game no matter what happened in the game.  Frequently he will tell me to shut up because they lost or he didn’t do well … but come on people – how could you not be proud of your son going out there and playing his heart and soul out????   Now … if he ever was mean to a spectator or didn’t respect the game --- he and I would have a different conversation. – (I do look the other way when his on-field intensity gets extremely strong … but his wife doesn’t look the other way so I know that gets criticized at home).

-          For a couple of years I had two sons playing professionally together … watching them on the field together was the best part of my professional-fatherly life.  My younger son, Stephen, once scored a tying goal in the last minute of an US Open Cup Game in Charleston … to watch Chris go over and jump on top of him was my favorite professional fatherly moment of all time … and I dare say will always be.  I wish that feeling of that one moment in time for every father --- and it does not have to come from professional sports – I am so fortunate to have traveled to Charleston that week in July to be able to take that in.  Well worth all of the 5am departures from home on Saturday morning to drive to Buzzards Breath, California or some other crazy place to get to an 8am tournament game … and ….freeze your ass off on the sideline of some weed patch drinking lukewarm coffee.

Goodbye to Buck Shaw ... Raiders Football ... and Wondo Fantasy Football Update (Spoiler Alert - I'm winning)

     I really enjoyed watching Chris play with the National Team the past two weeks … their results could have been a little bit better but I have such fondness for those guys and that team and it was great seeing Chris getting the privilege to wear the US Badge again.  But we have even more relevant items to blog about on this Award-Winning – yet recently neglected – Blog.

BUCK SHAW IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR:

     Last Saturday night I walked out of Buck Shaw Stadium with a small twinge of fond memories.  It is a miserable place to go to a professional soccer game but it is a wonderful place to watch a professional soccer game.  Beyond all of that- my fatherly-soccer-memories will always be Buck Shaw Centric.  I was fortunate enough to have so many personal memories there that will stay with me forever.  I have enormous appreciation for all the fans that stuck it out at Buck Shaw and we all look forward to the new John A. Wondolowski Stadium @ SJC (people are starting to call it JDUB@SJC). 

     Best memory ever at Buck Shaw???? – I have too many fatherly memories and I don’t want to bore anyone with that … I have a tie for first place that is not totally Wondo-Centric.  The night we clinched the Supporter’s Shield – after the game the Players really showed a close love with the fans … and Lenny Wig Night – because I wish I was the one who invented that night –the concept and the finish.

RAIDERS … WAIT Till NEXT YEAR

     The Wondo Family have been Raiders fans forever … even including a couple of years when they decided to play in Los Angeles.  The family has season tickets thanks to Aunt Wondo – and the Wondo Boys go to virtually every game.  So it was great this past Sunday when Chris was able to be a guest of the Raiders and kick field goals on the field at half time.  He did OK kicking field goals in his running shoes (Quakes fans would have been proud) – but he essentially was the warm up act for the frisbee dogs.  Nevertheless we had a blast and A Pequena Chefona enjoyed sitting in the suite and providing crumbs in the carpet for the janitorial crew.  Chris drilled 45 yard field goals and Grand-Dude fed Chefona in the Suite. Great seeing Sam Cronin and Jason Hernandez there as well – they didn’t boo Chris’ 55 Yard Field Goal attempt that missed short by a yard or two as loudly as Chris’ brother did.

FANTASY FOOTBALL

     Just a quick update on the Wondo Boys Fantasy Football League … that includes my three sons, myself, my two sons in law, and two close FoW (Friends of Wondo).  Long story a little shorter – one guy is in first place at 6-1 (Oh – that would be me) and everyone else is so far behind that it hurts my feelings to think that they are my offspring, sons in law, and close friends.  I suspect they are trying – but I cannot prove that based upon demonstrated performance. 

     Here is the result of our Fantasy Football League … nobody in the family is talking to me (the sons in law have Joanne in their camp) … and yet – no matter what I do I just keep winning.  In some ways it is a curse to be this good at Fantasy Football but – I am learning to live with that curse. 

Cal Football Defense - Saying Goodbye to Buck Shaw Stadium - and Fantasy Football Update

Cal Defense – Saying Goodbye to Buck Shaw Stadium – and Fantasy Football Update

University of California Golden Bears – and What They do When the Other Team Has the Ball

     As an Old Blue (UC Berkeley Alumni) – there have been precious few times in a football season when my alma mater is 4-1 and their one loss came on a Hail Mary pass as the last play of the game.  However I can say that, while I am happy about our record, I cannot believe that there is a FBS team at 4-1 that has chosen to rest all of their players when their defense would normally be on the field.  You have to go way back to --- well … I guess only last year actually … -- to see a defense that looks similar in that their mission is to get off the field quickly after yielding a touchdown as quickly as possible.  It is disheartening – but (cynically) it may show what you have to do if you want to increase graduation rates.  I love my Bears --- but I think we should on-side kick after every score and just go for fourth down every single time.

Goodbye Santa Clara University – Buck Shaw Stadium – Home of the San Jose Earthquakes

     I am not a fan of Buck Shaw Stadium – although to be fair I have said many times that it is a great place to actually watch a game because it is kind of like it is being played in your back yard.  If you have ever been to Stubbs BBQ for a concert in Austin, Texas ... You'll agree that Buck Shaw is to soccer what Stubbs BBQ is to concerts.  But it is not a professional stadium and when they stop fans from entering or exiting because the guy carrying the cones from the visiting team is walking by … that is beyond rinky-dink.

     In just a couple of weeks the Earthquakes will play their final game at Buck Shaw Stadium as they prepare to move to their own new stadium by the San Jose Airport.  And … despite the fact that I have never been a fan of Buck Shaw Stadium … looking back I am a fan of Buck Shaw Stadium.  Because it has given me special Dad moments there.

-          First MLS goal that I saw Chris score in person

-          Goal that Chris scored to set an Earthquakes all-time scoring record

-          Goal that Chris scored and then came over and kissed A Pequena Chefona

-          Being able to be so close and enjoy the Ultras (Chefona dances to their songs) 

-          Having an intimate soccer experience that most dads will never have

o   (I still don’t like the place … but wow has it given me great memories)

Fantasy Football Update

     The Fighting Basset Hounds are now 4 wins 1 loss in the Wondo Family Fantasy Football League.  Of the 8 teams in the league … the Fighting Basset Hounds find themselves at the “top of the table” as soccer people like to say.  In addition – through the first 5 weeks – no team has ever scored more points in one week than the FBH did in Week One.  We have had to deal with adversity – injuries, suspensions, bad attitudes, poor performers and egos … but our management philosophy has helped guide us to the lofty place that we sit today - JUST WIN BABY.

     Our position in the standings? Far above my sons Chris and Stephen – in fact, you would probably need a telescopic rear view mirror to even see Chris or Stephen from our place in the standings.  I have even started rooting for both of them … because (1) they are my sons and I care for them and (2) they are embarrassing the crap out of me right now.