Weekend Soccer - and Men Being Idiots

It has been a tough week to be a Brazil Soccer Fan … and there are very few Brazilians who are not soccer fans.  But – they are resilient and their love for the game will help them move forward.  Having a week go by where you are outscored 10 to 1 is difficult for anyone.

Last night we were at the ‘intimate’ confines of Buck Shaw Stadium in Santa Clara for the Earthquakes game.  And with ‘intimate’ I use a euphemism that basically means “how quickly can we get to a real stadium???”.   I know I should be a huge supporter – and I am on every front ... except for that stadium.  I will say – the field is nice and the game production is nice – and everyone is friendly … so you could have worse.  I am counting the days to the new stadium.

Stadium aside --- the San Jose Earthquakes feel so much like ‘home’ and ‘family’.  I would have wanted nothing more for my son in his professional career than to play for this team and their fans.  I may have wanted more points-per-game … but I am pretty convinced that those will come and the second half of the season will be different.  I see these guys play for each other and that is the most important element to the game.

Even though … last night the crowd was warm and supportive of my oldest son and for that I am eternally grateful.  In fact – it really was a fantastic night for a dad. 

Tomorrow I hope for the same warm and supportive environment for my round at Pebble Beach … I am sure that won’t happen though.  My final thought for tonight is that --- really … are women that much smarter than men???  Last night we are driving down to the Quakes-United game and my wife asks out of the blue --- “how much were your new golf shoes today?” – now I used my own credit card that she has no access to and I hid the shoes in the trunk of my car so there was no way that she could possibly know … but all I could come up with was:  “do you mean list price or what I paid?”  (I paid list price by the way).  I am hoping that one day in our lives we husbands may someday realize that we are really in charge – but so far … those facts are not in evidence.  

It Sucks Being my Son ... and Unisex Hats (relatively unrelated topics)

Central Garden and Pet

It was great this week to catch up with a few people from my old company – Central Garden and Pet.  I worked at Central’s Corporate Headquarters for about 9 years (depending upon how you count) and struck up great friendships.  During this World Cup apparently they set up a big screen in the Café and watched games there – with many of them knowing Chris and feeling connected to the USMNT.  I understand that there is one Executive Assistant there who clearly won the title of craziest soccer fan ever when the games were on (which is great because she was getting paid for it!). 

It Can Suck Being My Son

I’m going to the San Jose Earthquakes game tonight and it dawned on me that I always wear my lucky hat (which is an old Adidas hat).  Since my son is sponsored by Nike this is one of many things that pretty much drive him crazy.  But here’s my thing … Nike has “Unisex Hats” --- I’m sure somebody up in Beaverton did extensive research to determine that the “Unisex Hat” will sell.  I suspect it is selling --- but it is not selling to me.  I don’t want a “Unisex Hat” … I want a hat that was made for guys.  Trust me – I understand that there is no difference in all likelihood – but there is a difference to me.  Maybe I am simply not confident enough but my fear is that someone will come up and say:  “Oh – do you like those Unisex Hats?.”  So no Unisex Hat for me.  I even told one of the Nike guys who was with the US Contingent down in Brazil when he asked why I had an Adidas hat … he said he would get me a non-Unisex hat – but so far that hasn’t happened – he is probably back in Beaverton telling them that old-crazy-guys are not in their hat demographic. 

I should also acknowledge that the longer one of my sons lives – the more he is subjected to the same repeat stories that I tell.  Years ago I did not realize I was repeating the same old stories – now I vaguely do but don’t care.  I figure that if they sponged off me for 12 years of Catholic School and 4 years of College then the least they can do is listen the same old stories.

The good thing about Sons-in-Law is that they are relatively new to the stories.  Plus – I take them on a fishing trip each summer and we have the unique bond of having both lived with their wives – so they know that I know what they are going through. 

Third Place Game

There is really nothing about the Third Place Game that is usually interesting.  But this year – the bounce back that Brazil really needs to have is a good storyline.  Still though – I will probably be in my garden rather than watching.

The Championship Game

Because my oldest son is a genius … our round at Pebble Beach on Sunday is precisely when the Championship Game is being played.  I shall DVR it and then watch it after knowing the result.  My prediction is that Germany really is as good as they have looked.  I was impressed by Argentina’s midfield in their game vs. Belgium … but Germany may really be that good that this is a result decided by more than one goal. 

Really (really) Random Thoughts ... between WC Final and Earthquakes vs DC

These are really, really random thoughts after being back in the USA for enough time to acclimate.  For reasons I cannot begin to explain – I have gotten a couple of dozen notes from people to continue this blog (at least until it really begins to suck even more…).  I knew you would not believe me so I have asked for affidavits from each of those people –  in the meantime … reflections on soccer and things that may or may not relate to soccer.

WORLD CUP AND TECHNOLOGY ---

And I’m not talking about goal-line technology.  I recorded today’s game (Oranje –vs – The Messis) – because “THE MAN” had me under his thumb in meetings this afternoon.  I got a text from a friend just before game time that I should go to “THE CITY”  (that’s what we cool people call San Francisco) and watch there – and I was diligent in explaining that I was recording the game for later so please don’t tell me the result.  I listened to Sirius in the car to avoid news and game results --- I got home and told my son Matt that I had not yet watched the game --- I told Mildred Penelope that I had not yet watched the game – but before I was going to turn on the game I had to catch up on my email.  One thing led to another – the next thing you know I was clicking on a browser and my home page came up --- and before I watched the game I already knew the PK result.  (PK is Penalty Kicks for anyone who thought that was profanity).  Some might be upset … but since the game was not very exciting (as I understand it) – technology saved 2+ hours of my life.

WORLD CUP SCENERY ---

Consensus among experts that I trust (and verified by my own exhaustive research) – is that the fans at the World Cup are ranked like this – (in terms of beautiful women of course) –

1.        Tie – Argentina and Colombia   

a.       (Note – Argentina wins since they are still there)

2.       Brazil

3.       Belgium 

a.       (Note – I was surprised too … but you cannot argue with facts)

4.       United States

BEING BACK IN THE UNITED STATES ---

The two most important inventions of our time are (in no specific order) –

·         Water

·         The Big Green Egg

I don’t need to bore you with the details on those because I am sure that every living being on earth relies on both of those every single day. 

My new goal in life is to invent the third most important contribution to our time.  I was thinking that it should be an invention that makes sure your newspaper does not get wet from rain or lawn sprinklers in the morning … but we have a drought in California and I don’t want the local Water Board to think I have my lawn sprinklers on in the morning (Just a heavy dew neighbors … nothing to rat me out about)… So I am now focusing on a dishwasher where the racks, slots, etc. … actually fit the dishes-glasses-utensils that you use on a daily basis.  Moreover – I am going to invent something where you just load the dirty dishes and glasses into the dishwasher like you do garbage in the garbage can and then close it … turn on the switch … and everything is clean and not broken.  I’ll let you know how my prototypes go on that.

PEBBLE BEACH ON SUNDAY ---

I am still slated to play at Pebble Beach on Sunday – Chris gave me the tee time for my birthday.  New update is Stephen can’t go so it will be Chris, Matt, and Me … and Wondo-Friend Lukas.  I went out to the range yesterday after watching 2 hours of You Tube Golf Instructions the night before and I have proven empirically that watching 2 hours of You Tube Golf Instructions does not improve your golf game.  Rather than watch another 2 hours of You Tube Golf Instructions tonight I am going to Dick’s Sporting Goods and buying 60 new golf balls – fully expecting to come back with maybe 1 after Sunday’s round. 

The Best (or Worst) Birthday Gift

I believe that every single one of my friends - without qualification - would love to play golf at Pebble Beach.  Unfortunately for me ... my son Chris is not taking my friends to play golf at Pebble Beach this weekend - he is taking me.  My wonderful birthday gift from Chris is to play Pebble Beach (I am not nearly good enough at golf to simply call it "Pebble") with a foursome consisting of my three boys (Chris, Steve, Matt ... and me). 

There are countless things in this world that I really suck at (and that doesn't even begin to count my wife's list of things I am really bad at) ... but golf does enjoy a single-digit standing in what I am worst at.  Of course my boys are good, they play frequently (those who saw the video of Chris with the USMNT at Sawgrass are going to have to take my word for that) - about once or twice per year they take me to play with them in their unending effort to humiliate me more than I have humiliated them in their lives.  Looking back - I wish I humiliated them less when they were younger. 

So this weekend I am going to be "that guy" at Pebble Beach who every single golfer there tells stories about for years and years.  But I have two things going for me - (1) I wont keep score I will simply bring 62 golf balls and never go after one of my shots - and (2) my sons will devolve into a cut-throat competition by the second shot and they will ignore me.  With 18 tee shots I suspect I will be ok on 4 and maybe even semi-good on 2 - other than that I am going to disappear into the landscape. 

A Warm and Fun Weekend

Today my twin sister celebrated her 56^th birthday … I have known her for all of her 56 years as I was a member of the human race 11 minutes before her 56 years ago on July 6^th.  I’m pretty amazed that I am 56 years old – mainly because it is really freaking old.  If you had asked me when I was 23 if I was ever going to be 56 I would have probably said – oh god no.  If you had asked me when I was 53 I would have probably said – I sure hope so.  I guess I would have hoped that after 56 years on this earth that a little bit of wisdom might have trickled down to me … but no luck there.  I can only share a few shallow and probably stupid thoughts.

My wife and I have traditionally had very close friends over for July 4^th weekend where we just take it really easy and have a great time … this year was no exception (on the great time).  One of the curses of raising children and having them not sue you in court is that they tend to come over for food, drink, and pool on  hot summer days.  This past weekend was hot in Danville, California and there was food and drink so there were children visiting us to make us feel like we are connected with them.  I love my kids and I love my friends’ kids – but when I say they are over for food and drink you can multiply that by 10x in your own mind.  A Saturday night of 8 people turned into a Saturday night of 35 people – but honestly a fantastic and wonderful Saturday night (except for our neighbors – sorry about that neighbors). 

But – in my continuing effort to make people stop reading this blog … here are my top five observations of planet earth after surviving 56 years as an inhabitant:

-          Your family is your family – don’t ever try to change that just try to deal with it (or if you are lucky then try to enjoy it). 

-          Your friends are priceless

-          I cannot explain it but I really like P!nk – I even think she is gorgeous – don’t argue with me … I’m just saying we all have a strange side to each of us

-          A weekend without a trip to either the Hardware Store or the Lumber Yard is a vacant, wasted weekend

-          When you are grilling sausages always use the 3 to 1 rule ---- Mildred Penelope will usually eat 2 of every 3 you take off the grill

That’s it – I hope you had a great July 4^th weekend. 

World Cup Semi-Finals ... some MLS ... and Golf

Some familiar teams passed into the Semi-Finals this weekend – Germany, Brazil, Argentina, and Netherlands are all probably pretty common picks for fans across the world.  I would guess that the Dutch Coach is feeling pretty happy today – not just for the win but also for his last second substitute of a goalkeeper specifically for the penalty shoot out --- in which the sub saved two shots and Orange jerseys and hats will continue to dot Brazilian cities for another few days at least.

Major League Soccer has kicked back up with games each day for the past few days.   Our San Jose Earthquakes are looking to get some familiar faces into their roster as the World Cup and injuries have caused some problems.  But – one thing I have learned about MLS over the past 10+ years of being a very close observer is that if a team can win three games in a row they will typically dramatically change their position in the standings.  Of course getting the first win is a prerequisite to the three game winning streak so we will be at SJ-D.C. United game this Friday night hoping to witness that first game in the winning streak.

The three Wondo boys – Chris, Steve, Matt – all suffer from the same addiction to golf.  They play together frequently (which makes a father happy) but if brushing your teeth had a scoreboard these guys would compete in tooth brushing --- they are scary competitive.  I always know who wins when they play because the winner will always either phone me or swing by the house to make sure they taunt their brothers. 

I like golf but I don’t play much.  Life has taught me many different ways to humiliate myself in front of friends and strangers and in that regard golf becomes redundant to me. 

Looking forward to the semi-finals this week … 

World Cup - View From Home

The Fourth of July at Casa de Juando will include St. Louis Style Ribs on the Big Green Egg for 6 hours – Beer Can Chicken on the Weber --- probably a Cerveja or two (or definitely a Cerveja or dois) --- and family and friends … and a couple of amazing World Cup Games.  Think about it from a geographic standpoint not just from a four great teams standpoint … Germany-France and Colombia-Brazil.  After two weeks in Brazil … my heart is definitely rooting for the Brazilians.

I started with sports when I could walk … every sport – I was one of the three guys on planet earth who was watching competitive Miniature Golf on ESPN in 1980 when ESPN first aired.  I fell in love with all sports but madly in love with soccer at age 7.  Each year since then (and there have been dozens and dozens … and well … even more dozens of those years that have passed) – I cannot extricate myself from soccer.  This same guy who lives and breathes the San Francisco Giants … this same guy who bleeds Oakland Raider Silver and Black (I really do Chris, Steve, and Matt – just hard to not be cynical these past several years)… has never been able to look away from the sometimes-train wreck that is soccer.  Of all sports – soccer can be the cruelest.  Since I was 16 years old I have coached at least one soccer team each and every year.  I have always found it to be a tough teacher that sometimes is a perfect meritocracy. 

The USA had a chance to win the most improbable – absolute cruelest victory against Belgium in the closing moments … and it did not happen.  I know my son will replay that opportunity in his head forever and ever and ever and never lose the vision of what happened and what could have happened.  AND I THINK THAT IS GREAT!  --- because I think that may validate all of the passion, money, time, effort, and attention I have ever paid to sports.  Because if you are willing to completely own your input into a competitive game – then you implicitly own the result --- you only have control over your input and you have no control over the result.  When you are completely happy with your input you accept the result.  If any game came down to one specific touch – you would not have to play all 90 minutes and then the sport would be perfect for television – it would simply be an ESPN Top Ten highlight to watch.  If I was a dad (well actually I am) - the most important lesson I would want to teach my children is to own the input - that way you own the results (even if you don't like them) - and then if you don't like the results ... figure out how to adjust the input going forward. 

That leads me to my favorite thing about soccer … I learned when I was very young that the etiquette of soccer is to “Accept the result”.  That means that when the game is over whatever the score is – is what it is – you cannot change it.  You shake hands and realize that you had 90 minutes (or more) to influence the outcome and the outcome is the outcome.  Those who know me certainly know that during the 90 minutes I can be the most impossible coach to be next to on the sideline (I am working on it people) –but after the final whistle … you accept the results and shake hands and figure out how to be better next time. 

I have loved soccer since I was 7 at St. Michaels School in Livermore, California when Father O’Farrell came to the parish and taught the second grade soccer in our Physical Education Class (I think we were kicking a basketball at the time).  In my wildest dreams I never imagined the two week adventure in Brazil that not only was I able to take – but I was able to spend it with my son Stephen.  Having met the fans from all over the world in person – I love soccer even more than I did before.  This coming season I vow to be a little less obnoxious to the referees … a lot more reflective about the lessons being taught on an even playing field that is almost a perfect meritocracy … and smile a lot more about the potential that someone on the field I am watching may someday be able to have the experience that my oldest son did (or even if not that --- the experience that I did --- which was freaking awesome). 

For those who have read this blog - thanks!  It started out as a way to keep in touch with family and friends while I was in Brazil.  If you are a masochist - you may want to keep checking it out from time to time because it will be like 1000 monkeys with 1000 typewriters --- most of it will be useless but someday we might bang out Shakespeare.